Want to know how to forgive someone who wronged you and cross off the names on your “kill list?” Here are ten tips to help you get started.
In this article:
- Why So Angry?
- Chill Out and Take a Break
- Remember You’ve Got Better Things to Do
- Were You The Jerk?
- Recalibrate Expectations
- Take The Wheel
- Take the Chance to Improve Your People Skills
- Rise Above, Choose to Be Kind
Learn to Forgive | 10 Tips for Practicing Forgiveness
Why So Angry?
The world is imperfect and so are you. Sometimes, your pride can get crushed, intentions misunderstood, good deeds unreciprocated, and sensitivities challenged. Ultimately, this makes you angry.
Even the most zen person in the world once became furious because of a person or event. It’s a normal reaction.
Anger, if not contained, can be an ugly, destructive emotion that only brings you pain. It can be misdirected to people close to you and can even derail you from your life goals.
If anger is a place, dwelling in it is a huge waste of time. It can muddle and cloud the beauty, creativity, kindness, and the calm in you.
How do you stop anger from controlling you? Choose to forgive.
Dwelling in anger most of the time doesn’t do you any good. Here are a few tips on how to forgive someone who hurt you.
What angers people says a lot about their upbringing. If a person had a traumatic childhood—beaten or unloved—they might later punish people around them in some other way.
These are the types of people who can get angry over things that really have nothing to do with you. You shouldn’t stay in their orbit.
Accepting their deal will let you move past how they’ve treated you. Truth is, they are more of the victim here than you are.
2. Chill Out and Take a Break
When anger hits, so does being irrational. When you feel the vein in your forehead ballooning or the urge to pick up a baseball bat and lose it, take a breath and try to relax.
Indulging your anger may feel good at the moment, but it can do more harm than good, which is almost always the case. So, calm down and act on things when you’re more rational.
Chances are, whatever causes the resentment and anger you’re feeling won’t sting that much the next day. It’s dwindling relevance will eventually die out the week after next, or after a month.
Many wouldn’t agree on the adage “to forgive is to forget” because, for some, forgetting isn’t true forgiveness. However, there’s a nugget of useful insight in there — when you forget, it distracts you from your anger, and that’s what’s important.
You’re freed up to think and do other things during the day. The means isn’t really relevant.
4. Remember You’ve Got Better Things to Do
You only have 24 hours in a day. Why waste hours of it on undeserving people?
Don’t let anger affect your productivity or slow down your hustle. Dropping off the weight is so much more practical and useful than clinging on to it.
If anger invades your headspace, ask yourself what better things you could be doing instead.
Having an idea of why someone else’s shoe stinks can help in better processing your anger. Sometimes people have problems they may take out on other people.
That’s totally beyond your control. These people feel they’re victims, but you don’t have to be one of theirs.
6. Were You The Jerk?
You might have done a person wrong in the past and they’re retaliating now. It doesn’t totally justify why this person is being crappy, but the context might make you think twice about dwelling in negative emotions if you’re at fault too.
You’d probably do the same thing and justify that the other person deserves that type of treatment. Knowing the other person’s POV can help with the anger.
Being one percent better involves letting go of past grudges, taking the necessary steps to forgiveness, and focusing more on improving yourself. Never underestimate the power of forgiveness because it goes a long way in improving, not just your relationship with others, but also your wellbeing and happiness as well.
7. Recalibrate Expectations
We tend to set very high standards for people, which can lead to frequent disappointments. Accept it, a lot of people are crappy and that’s just the way they are.
Save yourself from the crash and burn by trying not to expect anything much from others. Have high standards for yourself instead.
Recalibrate your thoughts and lower your expectations from people to avoid being too quick on judging their actions.
8. Take The Wheel
We often get angry when we don’t get our way — unsuccessful pitches, failed book deals, unappreciated demo recordings, sales emails without responses.
Prevent this type of anger from surfacing by taking the wheel — take charge!
Go self-publish, record your songs and upload them yourself on streaming services, send more sales emails, and make your own movies.
If somebody says “no” or that your dream’s impossible, that just one door closing. Find a window!
9. Take the Chance to Improve Your People Skills
Somebody pushing your red buttons is a great chance to practice how to deal with people straight-out from hell. Remember practice makes perfect, and you’ll go far in life having so much tolerance.
When you learn to deal with difficult human beings, you can move on faster, become more productive, happier, and less crappy.
10. Rise Above, Choose to Be Kind
Instead of rage-fueled retaliation (or stupidity), try killing them with kindness. It may seem like a difficult position to pull off but reacting kindly to infuriating people can diffuse the situation.
Kindness, if used correctly and honestly, can be a powerful arrow in your quiver.
Do you have any other tips on how to forgive others based on experience? Let us know in the comments section below!
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