When you lack self-confidence, experiencing success in life’s most important areas can be very difficult, if not impossible. Today’s article shares six ways to deal with it so you can live life to the full.
In this article:
- Relinquish Control
- Interview People
- Watch and Imitate Confident People
- What’s Your Compelling Reason?
- Stop Being Confident in Confidence
- Deal With a Lack of Confidence by Banking on Your Experiences
How to Be Confident: 6 Hacks to Deal With Lack of Confidence
1. Relinquish Control
We think the more we “worry” about controlling things, the more we can control them to go our way. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn’t really work that way.
The only thing we really have complete control over is ourselves — our thoughts, words, and actions.
When you start relinquishing control over the possible results of your actions, other people’s actions and reactions, and the things happening around you, you’ll worry less. With less worrying comes greater inner peace and consequently, higher self-confidence.
The best way to relinquish control over things you have little or no control over is by focusing on those you can control. Focus on building productive and beneficial habits, excellent planning strategies, and proper execution of your plans.
When you focus on these, your accomplishments will start piling up and consequently, you’ll feel more confident. Your fear of failure will start – and continue – to drop as you find more reasons to feel confident about yourself.
2. Interview People
It’s funny how one of the brightest minds in history, Socrates, came to be because he assumed he knew nothing. One his most popular expressions is, “I know that I know nothing.”
By acknowledging he knew nothing, he got to ask questions. He wasn’t afraid of looking dumb or an amateur in front of others, which gave him the freedom to feed his curiosity and ask whatever was on his mind.
As he asked more and more questions, he got to learn about a lot stuff through other people’s answers. And the more a person knows, the higher the chances he or she’ll be more confident.
Here’s how asking questions can boost your confidence:
It relieves you of the pressure to prove yourself as knowledgable. With that weight off your shoulders, you can feel calmer and more peaceful around other people.
Knowing the burden of looking wise and intelligent lies not on you, but on the person answering the questions, you put the other person in the hot seat.
Asking questions can make other people feel interesting and gives them opportunities to talk about themselves. It can make them feel important when around you, which in turn, can make them like you and make you feel more confident.
3. Watch and Imitate Confident People
If a picture paints a thousand words, then action speaks a million more. This is why most people would rather watch instructional videos than just read or listen to learning materials.
This is because of a physiological thing called “mirror neurons”, which our brains have in abundant supply. Simply put, mirror neurons allow us to learn simply by watching something happen or someone do something.
If you want to become a much more confident person in a jiffy, watch confident people in action. And the easiest and most convenient way of doing this is by watching them onscreen.
For example, one of the best videos to watch to build up your self-confidence is the TV series Suits. Watch how Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht) or Donna Paulsen (Sarah Rafferty) carry themselves.
There’s something about their posture, voice modulation, fashion sense, and body language that just oozes quiet confidence. As the saying goes, watch and learn, and this applies to confidence, too.
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4. What’s Your Compelling Reason?
When you look at the greatest martyrs in history, one thing they had in common was the gall to look at death in the eye and stand up for what they believed in.
They had a very clear sense of their life’s purpose. Compelling reasons, including life purpose, are powerful forces that give people the ability to overcome their lack of self-confidence and do what needs to be done at the moment to succeed.
People who desperately need money to feed their families go to great lengths (i.e. stealing) because they have very compelling reasons. Even if they’re not confident they can get away with stealing, they get over the fear and do it because their family needs food on the table.
Which area of your life do you lack confidence in? Think of compelling reasons to boost your confidence and remind you why you need or want to do it.
When you know why you need to get something done, you’ll get them done regardless of how you feel.
5. Stop Being Confident in Confidence
While being confident is a very big help in achieving goals and succeeding in life, it’s not the only ingredient for success. It can only get you so far because all bark and no bite can’t bring real success in life.
If you put your hope solely on feeling confident, you might end up feeling really anxious.
If you don’t have anything to back up your confidence, people will see you as a fake. Once you lose other people’s trust, it’ll be very hard for you to succeed in life.
If you’re lacking confidence, just accept the fact that you do. By doing so, you can objectively determine the reason for your lack of confidence and work on those reasons.
Then, you’ll be able to give yourself solid reasons to feel confident about yourself. You won’t just be building castles in the air and bank on relying on mere confidence to succeed in life.
6. Deal With a Lack of Confidence by Banking on Your Experiences
Experiences are the most powerful teachers anyone can have. Both traumas and successes can result in overconfidence and joy or lack of confidence and depression.
There are two ways you can bank on your experience to address your lack of self-confidence.
The first way is to look back on your most positive experiences. These may be your greatest successes in the past or times when you felt really good about yourself based on how others praised or commended you.
It may also be how well you dealt with or survived a massive failure or traumatic experience. If such events failed to destroy your life and keep you down, you can be confident about taking risks in the future because you know you’ll be ok regardless of what happens.
The second way, which is a longer method, is to start doing things that will give you more experience in those areas you’re lacking confidence in. If you’re not confident in your writing skills, make it a habit to write for at least 30 minutes every day to improve your writing skills and eventually, your confidence in them.
While a lack of confidence isn’t the only roadblock to success, it can be a serious obstacle. Through simple hacks like these, you can successfully address your lack of self-confidence and maximize your chances of succeeding in your life’s most important areas.
Aside from these six simple hacks, do you have other ideas for dealing with a lack of self-confidence? Let us know in the comments section below!
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