Moving on is a painful, but eye-opening, process that takes time and effort. If you’re struggling with letting go and moving on from an ex, here are some things you can try to help you out.
In this article:
- Actively Decide You’re Moving on
- Accept What Happened
- Get Closure
- Forgive Yourself
- Minimize Contact
- Get Rid of Items That Remind You of Your Ex
- Be Thankful
- Process What Happened During the Breakup and Focus on Improving Yourself
- Avoid Going Directly to a New Relationship
- Talk to Your Support Group
- Get Busy
- Love Yourself More
- Know That There Is Someone for You
Moving On and Letting Go: 13 Ways to Get Over an Ex
1. Actively Decide You’re Moving on
Decide that you want to move on and tell yourself that. Making a conscious statement that acknowledges what you want is a powerful thing.
Aside from actively deciding to do something, referring to yourself in the second or third person can also help through self-distancing. This helps you detach yourself from the situation and see things from a more objective perspective.
You can try replacing the “I” pronoun with your name after you’ve stated you’re making an emotional decision. For example, try saying, “I have decided to move on since this what’s best for [your name].”
2. Accept What Happened
Denial is a normal reaction to a breakup, especially if you invested time, energy, and a lot of emotions into the relationship. Your entire life will change because of what happened, which makes the process even more difficult.
The very first step towards moving on starts with acceptance. Some people may need a longer time to fully accept that things are over, but rest assured, it will happen.
Start the process of acceptance by properly grieving the end of the relationship. If you need time to grieve, take it since bottling up your feelings can do more harm than good.
Avoid thinking of “what ifs” since these could derail your process of moving on. Focus on the facts, and don’t rush yourself into moving on if you’re not there yet.
3. Get Closure
If you’re having trouble accepting things, maybe the problem is that you lack closure. Here’s how you can get closure:
- After some time has passed after the breakup, talk to your ex. The time that has passed will help both of you be less emotional and more objective.
- If it isn’t possible to talk to your ex, try to find closure within yourself. Accept that the relationship has ended and that you have to move forward without that person.
The faster you accept the breakup, the earlier you can move on. To help you with this process, you can also turn to people you trust to help you through this difficult period and provide an outsider’s perspective.
4. Forgive Yourself
After a breakup, it’s common to blame yourself for what happened. However, it’s especially crucial during this time to be kind to yourself so you can move on easier and faster.
Forgive yourself for whatever happened and don’t dwell on the negativity of your breakup. Leave what’s in the past and see what’s good in your life right now — even without your ex in it.
Don’t put yourself down if you’re still having trouble forgetting the other person and the memories you shared. This is perfectly normal because, after all, that person meant a lot to you.
5. Minimize Contact
Another factor that could be preventing you from accepting what happened and getting closure is if you’re still communicating with your ex. Try these:
- Stop following your ex on social media.
- Fill your day with activities, so you don’t get tempted to stalk your ex.
- Change your contact number temporarily so your ex won’t be able to contact you.
6. Get Rid of Items That Remind You of Your Ex
While looking at pictures of your ex may seem comforting, it can also be painful and just lead to “what if’s.” This also applies to items that remind you of that person, such as gifts.
Getting rid of these items may help you accept that things are truly over and move on quicker. If you don’t want or aren’t ready to get rid of them yet, try storing them first and avoid the urge to look at them while the breakup is still fresh.
7. Be Thankful
Combat the negativity of the breakup with positivity through gratitude. This helps you acknowledge the good you have in your life, even if your relationship ended.
Make a gratitude list about the positive things that came out of your relationship. This will make it easier for you to forgive and forget, as well as turn your thoughts to the future.
During this time, you can also see what else is out there beyond your relationship. Take this time to get to know yourself more and see what else is out there.
8. Process What Happened During the Breakup and Focus on Improving Yourself
Once you’ve become less emotional and more objective about the breakup, you can start processing things. From here, you can focus on improving yourself based on the lessons you’ve learned from your relationship and the end of it.
- Why did the breakup happen?
- What are the lessons I have learned?
- How can I avoid a painful breakup next time?
Plus, other questions that can help you make your next relationship deeper and better.
9. Avoid Going Directly to a New Relationship
Having another romantic relationship immediately after a breakup can lead to a stressful experience. You need time to heal, and the pain that you try to hide me unconsciously ship out during your new relationship.
Starting a new relationship with a tenuous ground might lead to more pain. Worse, you might heal a lot slower if you are not ready for another breakup.
10. Talk to Your Support Group
It’s vital to talk to your friends and family when you’re going through something as difficult as a breakup.
Your loved ones can put things into perspective since emotions and biases do not cloud them. Additionally, they can also provide a healthy distraction to keep you from dwelling on the past and overthinking every single aspect of your relationship.
11. Get Busy
You can use your newfound time and energy learning new things. You can also use this time to rediscover your love for other things, such as working on a passion project or a hobby.
During this time, you can also reconnect with old friends you may have spent less time with when you were in a relationship. You can also use this time to grow your circle of friends or professional network since you’ll have more free time on your hands.
12. Love Yourself More
Take this time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. This experience can also help you rediscover parts of yourself you may have neglected when you were in a relationship.
Now’s the time to create an identity beyond the person you were when you were with your ex. Discover who you are outside that relationship and work on becoming an even better version of yourself.
13. Know That There Is Someone for You
Your relationship didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean your chances at love have entirely dried up. There’s still someone out there who’s meant for you.
Become the person you want to be before letting others in. Remember, this will be the person your future partner will fall in love with, so work on making yourself 1% better before that person arrives.
We hope these tips can help you get over your ex soon. Remember to be kind to yourself and use this time to rediscover who you are.
What’s the most painful thing about your breakup, and how are you dealing with it? Do you have other tips on how to move on? Share them with us in the comments section below.