Romantic love-making is a crucial ingredient in any romantic relationship. This article shares five ways to become good at it.
RELATED: How To Be A Better Husband | 18 Tips
In this article:
- How to Be Romantic: Fill Up Your Partner’s Emotional Tank
- How to Have Romantic Sex: Talk About Romantic Love Making
- Romantic Love Making with Foreplay
- Establish Sex Initiation Rituals for Romantic Sex
- Give the Gift of Unpredictable Romantic Love-Making
Romantic Love-Making: 5 Key Things for Better Sex and Deeper Intimacy
1. How to Be Romantic: Fill Up Your Partner’s Emotional Tank
What makes romantic love-making different from plain-sex is the element of emotional intimacy. Many people go for casual sexual relationships because they don’t want that.
However, emotional intimacy is key to taking sex to its highest possible level. If you want to incorporate this in your and your partner’s sex life, your emotional tanks need to be filled up.
The best way to fill up a person’s emotional tank is by regularly speaking that person’s love language. The concept of love languages, popularized by Gary Chapman in his bestselling book The 5 Love Languages, refers to how a person prefers to receive and give love.
When you “speak” your partner’s primary love language, he or she will genuinely feel loved. When you show your love through other means, your partner won’t feel it as much.
There are five love languages:
- Acts of Service — They love being served and serving their loved ones.
- Quality Time — They love spending time with their loved ones more than anything else.
- Physical Touch — they love hugging, kissing, holding hands, and of course, making love.
- Words of Affirmation — They love hearing praises and the like and doing the same for others.
- Gifts — They love receiving and giving gifts as expressions of love.
The more you show your love for your partner through their primary love language, the fuller their emotional tank will be, and the more romantic love-making will be.
2. How to Have Romantic Sex: Talk About Romantic Love Making
Many couples, especially those who are already in a committed relationship, aren’t comfortable talking about sex. In particular, they’re not comfortable letting their partners know what turns them on and how they want to have sex.
The ability to understand your partner’s turn-ons, and what his or her idea of romantic love-making is, can foster passionate love-making. Ignorance of those things will keep you from becoming the most romantic sexual partner you can be.
Ask, and you shall receive insight into becoming a better lover in bed. So, talk about sex with your partner regularly.
3. Romantic Love Making with Foreplay
Foreplay, in the context of romantic love-making, isn’t just physical or sexual. It’s so much more than that.
Foreplay is all about building anticipation and excitement. Therefore, foreplay begins in the mind and heart when it comes to romantic love-making.
One way to build up anticipation and excitement is by setting up the right physical environment. However, the right physical environment for romantic love-making depends on the other person’s personality and preferences.
For example, many people find candlelit dinners with soft music very romantic and a turn on. A softly-lit room with some Barry White songs in the background and clean sheets is also an excellent environment for romance.
Another way to engage in romantic foreplay is verbal and visual teasing. Sexting during the day or wearing something a little more revealing during the day may excite your partner to want to get intimate later in the day.
4. Establish Sex Initiation Rituals for Romantic Sex
Two of the most awkward moments for many romantic couples are initiating sex and refusing advances. The two are often intertwined because:
- Many people are hesitant to initiate sex for fear of being rejected by their partner.
- Many couples have unsatisfying sex because one partner indulges the other because they don’t want to disappoint.
Romantic couples aren’t always in the mood at the same time. Hence, there’s still a chance that one of them won’t be in the mood to have sex.
However, problems arise when fears of rejection or rejecting the other partner deprive couples of regular romantic love-making. Not initiating means no sex, while always indulging the other, even when not in the mood, can make sex more mechanical than romantic.
The solution is to establish sex initiation rituals that can make both sex initiation and rejection very subtle.
When rejections and refusals are subtle, you and your partner won’t be traumatized when rejected or rejecting the other’s advances. An absence of these traumas can benefit you both in two ways:
- Both of you will feel more comfortable and intimate with each other.
- You and your partner will continue being comfortable taking a risk in initiating sex.
To open up or accept the sexual invitation, you can:
- Offer a shoulder massage.
- Play Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye (or another agreed-upon song)
To politely refuse a sexual invitation, you can:
- Hug after the massage.
- Turn off the music player, or play a more wholesome song as a cue that it’s not a good time.
5. Give the Gift of Unpredictable Romantic Love-Making
Being predictable is a good thing – to a certain extent. Being too predictable can make you less romantic, exciting, and attractive, which can lead to the death of a romance.
Again, the key is to be unpredictable every now and then. It’ll spice up your romantic relationship, make you a better lover, and lead to more romantic love-making.
Some great ideas of romantic unpredictability include:
- Bringing your partner to a new restaurant once every one or two months
- Watching a live musical performance or stand-up comedy act every once in a while
- Go for a vacation in a city or country you’ve never been to every year or every other year.
You get the idea: do something or go somewhere new every once in a while to break your routine. Don’t let your romantic relationship turn into a routine.
Becoming a better romantic love-making partner isn’t rocket science. With these five practical tips, you and your partner can enjoy even better sex and a more intimate relationship.
Do you have other ideas on how to become good at romantic love-making? Let us know in the comments section below.
- The Art of Persuasion: How to Persuade People on Anything in Ten Minutes
- The Ultimate Guide To Becoming A Better Man In 30 Days
- How To Know When To Quit Your Job: 13 Reasons To Stay Or Leave [INFOGRAPHIC]